In the silence there is a stillness
Under the stillness a hint
An echo
A sifting
Of scorched and scarred boulders
Worshiped and old
Schematic demons and demigods
Synaptic barriers and barricades
Enigmatic Prisons
And their patrons, servants and slaves
Prostrate
Cannot smell the humus
Or hear the ant.

Clenched,
Do they
Squint maybe just a bead
To move just an inch
Closer to the lip
To whimper
Or scream
Or lift?

P a u s e !

Will the demons escape?
Or the demigods rage
And repay us our transgressions.
And the rolli-polies
Tighten up and roll away after they see
the cockroaches evading the light?

A moment,
history,
trial.
Is the binary settling?
Am I bleeding?

Stonehenge motifs of Petra
Dance like shadows
Just out of reach
Blurred
And afraid
Unknown and unknowing
The tranced flames and shadows
Of emptiness in the back of the cave
What is real?
There is no footing
Just riptide combat
Pushed and pulled
Torn and stretched
Arguing the hair splitting
Of the eye of the needle
And the Way
Or the hidden path
Whose directions are clear and free
But lost
In the underground labyrinth
Tapestry of beetle tunnels
And gouls
And zombies
Of our lives
And loss and pain and fears
love
And loved
Lovers and friends and enemies

and trickster idols

and hate and tears.

Where is the leverage?
A balanced point
Is frozen
But the clock ticks
We can’t go back
But we can’t leave it
Behind the mirror
Is confused
Is it all just chance?
Where is God
Or Fate
Or Spirit
That elusive Goddess?
Just give us the answers

P l e a s e ! ?

The prism
rain erodes
The bodies of the Moai
In our minds
Long ago consumed
By the overgrowth
Their existence forgotten
With their feet steady
And secured
Deep
In the swamp
Of our souls
Stagnated
Put there by our ancestors
Their demonic
Gargoyles
And our shared gods
worshiped landmarks
And tourist destinations
Of locked rooms of memories
And torture
Held tight
A cherished pet
In the bog
That can’t breath
And wrestles to gasp
While we drown

I n h a l e

Just.
Let.
Go.

If only
Chase the cockroaches
And beetles
Follow the secrets of the rolli-pollies
Find them
In the musk and stench
In the body
sand and clay
Mental grit
And soiled spirit
Laughing
At the dirt under fingernails
And the games
And the games the games play
And on and on
To break the loops
And discover the voices
Their hushed messages
And mysterious truths
To reach out
With a whimper of
Breath
Holding and held
Hope
To touch
And be touched,
And seen!

Then the joy
Found in a charred seed
Carried by a pure white horse
Placed with care
By a raven
Warmed by a pack of rodents
Wiggled deeper
With love
from a rushing passerby centipede.
And a fungus
Mycorrhizae whispers
To the roots
Of a tiny seedling
Effortlessly
Sacrificing all
Cracking the concrete
To poke it’s tender head
And wave it’s arms in the sun
howl at the moon
marvel in wonder
At E V E R Y T H I N G;
The beauty and the pain
Flower petals and tear puddles
And cuddles.

And blinded by the rays,
blink its eyes….

To become an oak
Or redwood.
Or discover
It’s a willow.
The rings inside
Slowly diving deeper
Into itself
Like an antennae
Sensing
And creeping
Past the fossilized
Creatures of old
Toward the core
Kernel of the earth
Guided by the pill bug’s wisdom
Through layers
Of deeper topography
And roots
Finally tapped
Into the aquifer
Running along the shale
Flowing with the amoebas
And dancing anemones
Surfing a jet stream
With a soul pod.
Lit by bioluminescent
Jellyfish,
Allies and Selves.
Moment and meditative movement.
Hoping
To Show us
how to live
By dying
Like our lives
Are on the line.

Now.
The heart groans
Moans
Cries out
For the suffering
Incredible
Bickering
Intelligent ignorance
While
Babies starve
Earth sized anguish
And People 
Loving
People
Torturing
People
Time-trapped humans
Being
Stars
Like cells
The universe 
Inside the Iris
The depth and
Magnetic pull
Of the souls suicide
Waiting
For the body
To catch up
Lamenting gravity
Groveling
For relief
The pains so deep
Ripping and tearing 
Space-time bound
S l o w l y
Birthing
Ether proto-afterlife
Unimaginable
Luminous
Beings,
Us.

Now.
Propelled 
By life-music
Mirrored
By spirit 
Engulfed
Love-sick passions
Contrasted flip cartoons 
Of torment
Or
Indeed
A child’s laugh
Joy Ripples 
Across the airwaves 
Tickling tympanic
Memory membranes
The sum of
Surprise
And breath
Replacing
frozenfightingfleeingFEAR
With f e e l i n g
Gradual
Beautiful and terrible
Again 
And 
Again
And 
Again
Forever?
Sure.
Why not
Allowing 
Feelings
Flicker a Remembering 
Of Just one time
When
It was all ok
To learn
It can be again
And maybe
Already is
To latch 
Baby to breast
Or one bloody 
Fingernail
Onto that word
It’s ok
We don’t have to say it yet
That 4-letter fucking word…

H
O
P
E

Now.
Hold on
And breathe
Propel the Prana-Pneuma canoe
Paddle
The breath-life river
To Re-Member
The fractured you’s
To Self
That real you
Not the “broken”
Nor “fixed” 
Not the “just move on”
Yes
Not forgotten 
You 
Experiencing the experience
Yes
Even the trauma
Which you?
The integrated you.
Of course
Dead yet living
Pain and pleasure
Joy and sadness
Alive and dying
Being and doing
Resisting and…
You’re reading this
Letters and page
…accepting
Your heart is beating
You can
Heal
Yes
You
Can
Hope
It's OK to say it
Now….

…haploid
I crawl
Heart center
Heightened
Head down
Enlightened
Absolved absolute
Darkness
Through the earth-
Worm Sheol
Stabbing
Stalactite tunnels
Germ
Layer
Caving
Gamete
Grey matter
Drapery
Soil
My hands and knees
Ground sensing
Sesmoid organs
On the flowstone
Lacuna
Soma
Sliding
Slowly in between
Stalagmites
Shivering
Wet
Dendritic
Vesicles
Slithering
Diploid
Self
Mitosis

Differentiate

Beat

Breathe

Cry

Smile

Flow

Return to top-side…

AKA Chop Wood Carry Water

I am
Right here
I have
What I need
All is
What is
Is real

Now

Take the next
Best step

The soft
Welcoming sheets
Hug me after the long day
The sinew release
A gift from the cotton bush
Outside my window

We bask together
The cotton and I
in the same light
Warmth
Love from a star

It’s just right
where it needs to be

The cool
Night falls
The dusty coyote serenade
Ushers Woo-oo-wow
A reprieve from the sun
Just in time

Right when it needs to be

All the gifts
A tapestry
The sweet
Smooth
Savory cows milk
Offering
Tomorrow will caress
the coffee bean

If you look
For differences,
You will find,
The Other.

The unknown
Grows,
Fed
By another.

Fear chips
Away the filaments
Until it cracks
The egg.

A creature
Emerges
Consuming,
Ravaged.

It finds its
Like kind,
Defined by,
Comparing mind.

Together
They gather.
A tribe
Conspires.

Vengeance
Is obvious
Self righteous
Violence.

Bathes
In the blood
Of what was
A Brother.